Big Girls Cry

What do you see when you look at me?
Do you see a
Tough girl in the fast lane
No time for love, no time for hate
No drama, no time for games?

You see my exterior
None of you would know that I'm a lonely girl in a lonely world
I may be a tough girl
But my soul aches

Day in, day out, the same meaningless routine
I come home on my own
Check my phone, nothing though
Act busy, order in, pay TV
It's agony...

I am "tough" and so I am battered like titanium
I am not tough, and so I am dented like rusted zinc sheets
Rusted zinc sheets which have been silver sprayed to a shine
But the rain is falling while you dent my armor and douse me in liquid salt
I may cry, ruining my makeup
Wash away all the things you've taken
Here you are, screaming bitter nothings in my ear
You remind me that I've appearances to maintain
That I purport to be a big girl so I must cut the crap
But I don't care if I don't look pretty
And big girls cry when their hearts are breaking...

I perch precariously atop the world
Delicate balancing act, I must not be overturned
Nothing up here but the unforgiving winds of cold isolation
It's lonely at the top....blackouts and airplanes
My pain goes to your head like a snifter of bubbles
But I've got appearances to keep up
So I still pour you a glass of champagne

I'm a tough girl....whose soul aches.

Chandelier

Party girls don't get hurt
I guess I'm not a party girl then...
I try to drown it all out
Can't feel anything, when will I learn?
I push it down, I push it down...
Inside, I'm just a dark mess
But outside it's a totally different story
I'm the one "for a good time call"
I'm Miss Congeniality
I'm the one with tons of friends
Phone's blowing up, ringing my doorbell
I feel the love
I feel the "love"...

Shot after shot after shot
Anything they've got at the bar
Alcohol is poison, they said
But there are things inside me I need to kill
1,2,3,1,2,3, drink
1,2,3,1,2,3, drink
1,2,3,1,2,3, drink
Throw 'em back till I lose count...

I'm a smart girl
But sometimes I do dumb things
Sun is up, I'm a mess
Gotta get out now, gotta run from this
Here comes the shame, here comes the shame...

Shot after shot after shot
Whatever they've got at the bar
Alcohol is poison, they said
But there are things inside me I need to kill
Cuz I'm just holding on for tonight
Won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light
Cuz I'm just holding on for tonight

Help me, I'm holding on for dear life....